Friday.Memorial Day Weekend.Bored out of my mind.Working of course.
Pretty much cant take the bordem anymore. I made a video of a fellow employee confiding in me about how his lactouse intolerance problem led him to shatting his pants in the car on a date...yea that was pretty much my entertainment for the day. I also how quite an entertaining convo with this lady AJ regaurding the meaning of tea bagging and how she doesnt like them soft she prefers them hard...Her bannans of course. Cant wait to get out of work. Hopefully ill make some fun for myself, who knows.
<3AshleyElizabeth
Friday, May 23, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Not So Happy Birthday To Me
I remember when I was little and still actually believed the world revolved around me, and my birthday was the most amazing day of the year for me. I always had over the top birthdays where I was the center of attention (not like that wasnt any different from any other day) but it was expected and acceptable for me to be the center of attention. I remember one birthday, I probably was like 7 and I devestated because this other girl was having a birthday party at storybook land too and I had to share the big huge birthday cake party area with her and I wasnt having it. Now that I look back on those birthdays I wish sharing my big birthday cake party area was my biggest disappointment...Now the disappointment of my life, the disappointment of others, and pain of being lonely is the only thing I can feel. I usually am a happy person, upbeat, and keep a positive game face on no matter what the circumstance is but not today. Today it took everything I had not to break into tears when my coworkers lit 22 candles on a cake for me and sung Happy birthday...Birthdays didnt always suck but they do now when at least for me that is...The make is nearly impossible to ignore how much life has changed, how much everybody in your life has changed, and how much I have changed. Another year has passed and I am nowhere near to where I wished to be or where I thought I'd be. Life is confusing and I am officially confused....I cant even pretend to be happy when someone says happy birthday because although theres plenty to be happy about there are very few people to be happy with... “Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.”.....I dont even know anymore...<3ashleyelizabeth
Friday, May 16, 2008
Here's To the Crazy Ones, The misfits, The rebels, The Trouble Makers....
I never doubted that the road to the top, the road to success, the road to making my dreams come true would be lonely but I guess I didn't realize how bad being this also really feels. I know I'm going to have people working against me, I know people are going to be intimidated by how far Ive gotten in so little time, I know people are going to be jealous because they CHOSE not to do anything with their lives but I NEVER thought that the people I thought were supporting me would ever doubt me. I'm confused that these "believers" in me believed I could do it but didn't realize what I was going to do. I say going to be because I can do what ever I put my mind to, I never have doubted myself which is why I've gotten this far so how dare you ever doubt me?
I am never going to give up on my dreams, and I believe the person with big dreams is more powerful than the one who has nothing other than useless facts. You don't understand, because although you had the desire to accomplish something which gave you the motivation to make your dreams come true it didn't work for you, and you ended up settling for less than you dreamed of achieving but there is a major difference between me and you. Although we had the same desire to make our dreams come true, and both were motivated and made goals you gave up and I didn't. It's my determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of my goal that kept me going, a commitment to excellence that enabled me to attain the success that I already achieved that others deemed as "impossible" when I first began my journey, and it is that same determination and commitment that is going to bring me all the way. So do me a favor for your sake, NEVER deem my dreams unrealistic, or say I'm pushing the envelope, or tell me it is impossible because because I promise you, I will prove you wrong leaving you with nothing other to do than eat your own words. I got this far not because it was easier for me, or because I was smarter than you, or because things just went my way because they didn't, that is where u went wrong. You gave up the first time everything fell apart, that is was it for you, you were done, and I understand how devastating it is, but what you don't realize is how many time Ive been knocked down to ground zero. That is why I survived because every time I got pushed right back to where I started I didn't let it end my race I let the situation empower me and started from the bottom up again. It wasn't easy, it was hard, and even harder the second and third time and who knows there most likely will be a fifth and sixth but that wont ever stop, I will never give up, I am willing to do whatever I have to no matter how bad it hurts or how hard it is because I am passionate about achieving greatness and making my dreams that everyone may think are crazy come true. So the difference between me and you is NOT a lack of strength or a lack of knowledge, it was lack of will on your part, you chose not to press on and I did. In order to succeed you have to double your rate of failure. You think of failure as the enemy but it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure of learn from it, you have to make mistakes, make as many mistakes as you can because that is where you'll find success. The ones that make it to the top are the ones who made more mistakes because they were willing to take a chance and try new things because if your not willing to do that you will never reach your maximum potential, you will always be mediocre. I am anything but mediocre I promise you that. This is me and only me and I am going to make it. So keep laughing keep rolling your eyes keep doubting me because it will make the day I make it mean that much more to me.....So this goes out to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. The ones who see things differently, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, others see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world...are the ones that do.
<3ashleyelizabeth
I am never going to give up on my dreams, and I believe the person with big dreams is more powerful than the one who has nothing other than useless facts. You don't understand, because although you had the desire to accomplish something which gave you the motivation to make your dreams come true it didn't work for you, and you ended up settling for less than you dreamed of achieving but there is a major difference between me and you. Although we had the same desire to make our dreams come true, and both were motivated and made goals you gave up and I didn't. It's my determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of my goal that kept me going, a commitment to excellence that enabled me to attain the success that I already achieved that others deemed as "impossible" when I first began my journey, and it is that same determination and commitment that is going to bring me all the way. So do me a favor for your sake, NEVER deem my dreams unrealistic, or say I'm pushing the envelope, or tell me it is impossible because because I promise you, I will prove you wrong leaving you with nothing other to do than eat your own words. I got this far not because it was easier for me, or because I was smarter than you, or because things just went my way because they didn't, that is where u went wrong. You gave up the first time everything fell apart, that is was it for you, you were done, and I understand how devastating it is, but what you don't realize is how many time Ive been knocked down to ground zero. That is why I survived because every time I got pushed right back to where I started I didn't let it end my race I let the situation empower me and started from the bottom up again. It wasn't easy, it was hard, and even harder the second and third time and who knows there most likely will be a fifth and sixth but that wont ever stop, I will never give up, I am willing to do whatever I have to no matter how bad it hurts or how hard it is because I am passionate about achieving greatness and making my dreams that everyone may think are crazy come true. So the difference between me and you is NOT a lack of strength or a lack of knowledge, it was lack of will on your part, you chose not to press on and I did. In order to succeed you have to double your rate of failure. You think of failure as the enemy but it isn't at all. You can be discouraged by failure of learn from it, you have to make mistakes, make as many mistakes as you can because that is where you'll find success. The ones that make it to the top are the ones who made more mistakes because they were willing to take a chance and try new things because if your not willing to do that you will never reach your maximum potential, you will always be mediocre. I am anything but mediocre I promise you that. This is me and only me and I am going to make it. So keep laughing keep rolling your eyes keep doubting me because it will make the day I make it mean that much more to me.....So this goes out to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. The ones who see things differently, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, others see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world...are the ones that do.
<3ashleyelizabeth
Mind as well start getting ready for work and write off another night of sleep..
Well no chance of sleeping now even though Ill probably endup falling asleep a half hour before I usually get up for work and then try and peel myself out of bed..I hate that..It's like waking up five minutes before your alarm goes off and then going back to sleep for those five minutes until the second you passout and than the alarm goes off just ten times worse...I was seriously contemplating getting in the shower real quick now, getting ready for work and than sleeping until I have to leave but Im sure the head honcho's would frown upon that idea, not because I wouldnt look as professional from rolling out of bed disheveled of course but because they "appreciate and enjoy" when Im all done up.....Nothing like corporate America.. I think their all a bunch of cheese heads but oh well if they are stupid enough to assume Im nothing more than another dumb blonde that looks like one of the girls in the pornos they probably have on VHS thats just fine with me because they are in for quite a surprise, and they better watch out because before they know it Ill be farther up corporate ladder than they have because I have no problem stepping on them to get there...Ew that kinda sounded sexual ew mental picture..gross...So I skimmed my last post and I think I might have been a little delerious....Aside from the absolutely mind boggling rambling it sounded like a person that is just learning to read and write in english that hasn't been introduced to grammer yet wrote it, sorry about that. Its definaltely the sleep deprivation, I dont know how Im going to get done that analysis I need to have completed and sent by today..ugggh guess I'll have to find a way. I have a feeling today is going to suck, probably because it just started raining like an hour ago. Oh well I'll find a way to make the best of it or at least try. Guess it is time for me to start my day and put to professional wear on and get a head start on my work.....Great..
XoXoAshleyElizabeth<3
Wow I just realized Im going to turn 22 next week..My bday is on monday, hopefully my birthday this year is better than last year....but who knows as long as I dont end up in the ER getting stitches covered in blood with a beer bottle sticking out of my eye like last year Ill feel fortunate
XoXoAshleyElizabeth<3
Wow I just realized Im going to turn 22 next week..My bday is on monday, hopefully my birthday this year is better than last year....but who knows as long as I dont end up in the ER getting stitches covered in blood with a beer bottle sticking out of my eye like last year Ill feel fortunate
Bloody Mary is NOT the girl i love
So yea its 3:30 in the morning and Im awake...This wouldnt be anything new to me other than the fact that tonight Im actually tired and my mind isnt racing with thoughts going about 1000mph instead my heart is...As pathetic as it would sound if I said this was from a boy Im afraid to tell you its worse..way worse like seriously 10 times worse....Before I go on with my embarrassing story this is my new blog...My old one is erased, well not erased bc I saved it on a flash drive who knows why bc lord knows I'll probably just end up losing it but I felt wrong just erasing it but I had to because I was afraid someone was catching on to my secret blog life...Im probably just being paranoid since seriously who blogs anymore...Well plently of people but Im pretty sure everyone around here kinda got over it in high school after the whole Live journal is my life era...geez that was almost as big of a hit as pogs..yea those cardboard like discs that everyone was in a craze about and had like tournaments and stuff...ha I never really knew how to play but I have to admit I was definately one hell of a pog hustler. I never actually admitted to it but I was the reason nobody could bring their pogs to school in third grade anymore because after recess when everyone would go to the bathroom I would act like I forgot my personal soap I would bring to wash my hands (I was convinced this girl Cassandra who peed her pink power ranger costume at our class halloween party had dog AIDS and refused to use the soap after her) When I would go into get it I would empty out my classmates plasic tube pog holders into my luch box, but of course a little bit at a time so it wouldnt be so obvious..Then when I got on the bus I would take a sneak peek at what I got and any boy slammers that I happened to cop that day would be thrown at people on the bus.I remember thinking it was the funniest thing in the world weird I know...Anyway I now realize I subconsciously threw the boy slammers at people on the bus not only for entertainment but also to frame this boy Guy Snyder with the crime and it worked..I also told the guidance counselor he tried to show me his penis on the bus in first grade but he was really doing that thumb trick and I thought it was his penis bc I didnt really ever see a penis but anyway wow Im rambling about pogs and how I ruined some boys life at the early age of primary school anyway...
Ok so nobody knows I blog not bc Im embarrassed bc that last think I care about is what people think but bc Im really not willing to give all the local goingnowherefast haters anything else to talk about me with....I couldnt stay more under the radar/stay out of all local scenes/borderline antisocial and I still hear wow Ashleyelizabeths boobs just bigger but are still firm she must have had another boob job...comedy since I never had one to beging with...or did you see her hair its so blonde she had to have bleached it bc she wants to be in playboy and to look just like brooke hogan..again comedy bc my hair got lighter from being in florida and brooke hogan never did playboy...or all the bs rumors that are made up about me, a girl, who yea has a rack, yea has bleach blonde hair, and yea happens to wear heels on a daily basis but also has a brain with her boobs, has a dream for her future, reaches goals everyday and sets goals towards the bigger picture she dreams about nonstop which is why she is turning those dreams into her reality and the people to busy talking about her and lack the motivation to go out and do big things have nothing better to do than be jealous...Well I gotta comment on the mothers day rant I had about her reminiscing about how I was an antichrist growing up, from someone I never met or talked to saying u should check out this kid ryans myspace so I was like weird that last name really sounds familiar so I go on myspace type in his name and like 12 pages come up all his so I randomly chose one to click on and to my surprise he used to be in this band this kid mark who randomly came to one of my parties last summer used to sing for and I randomly took the train to go see them with erica last summer at the troc, so the world was to small in that instant and someone was way to close to my identity for comfort or who knows maybe it was just a coincidence but I wasnt willing to take that chance of it not being so I started fresh.....And the reason my first blog entry with my new acct is written at 4 in the morning now, without proper puncuation and filled with rambling is because I bought a DVD at Big Lots not bc I wanted it but bc i thought it was cool to buy a dvd for $2.00 and it ended up being Urban Legends Bloody Mary...And even tho I hate scary movies with a passion and they overstimulate my brain and make me high strung I decided to put it in before I went to bed becaue erica was staying over so I didnt have to watch it alone....The next thing I know is one minute Im laughing how ridiculous the movie is with her and then next minute shes asleep and Im contemplating peeing the bed bc Im scared to death to go into the bathroom bc the shower curtain is closed and I think that bloody mary psycho is creepin in there...Oh welll guess its like my fear of thunderstorms something Im not going to out grow....I have to work in 2 and a half hours and have no sleep ha this is my life not as pretty as it seems...Ill leave my last note on the questiong running through my head to get rid of being paranoid about mary is where is some holy water when you need it I thought super wawa's were supposed to have everything...Not so much.
XoXo<3ashleyelizabeth
Ok so nobody knows I blog not bc Im embarrassed bc that last think I care about is what people think but bc Im really not willing to give all the local goingnowherefast haters anything else to talk about me with....I couldnt stay more under the radar/stay out of all local scenes/borderline antisocial and I still hear wow Ashleyelizabeths boobs just bigger but are still firm she must have had another boob job...comedy since I never had one to beging with...or did you see her hair its so blonde she had to have bleached it bc she wants to be in playboy and to look just like brooke hogan..again comedy bc my hair got lighter from being in florida and brooke hogan never did playboy...or all the bs rumors that are made up about me, a girl, who yea has a rack, yea has bleach blonde hair, and yea happens to wear heels on a daily basis but also has a brain with her boobs, has a dream for her future, reaches goals everyday and sets goals towards the bigger picture she dreams about nonstop which is why she is turning those dreams into her reality and the people to busy talking about her and lack the motivation to go out and do big things have nothing better to do than be jealous...Well I gotta comment on the mothers day rant I had about her reminiscing about how I was an antichrist growing up, from someone I never met or talked to saying u should check out this kid ryans myspace so I was like weird that last name really sounds familiar so I go on myspace type in his name and like 12 pages come up all his so I randomly chose one to click on and to my surprise he used to be in this band this kid mark who randomly came to one of my parties last summer used to sing for and I randomly took the train to go see them with erica last summer at the troc, so the world was to small in that instant and someone was way to close to my identity for comfort or who knows maybe it was just a coincidence but I wasnt willing to take that chance of it not being so I started fresh.....And the reason my first blog entry with my new acct is written at 4 in the morning now, without proper puncuation and filled with rambling is because I bought a DVD at Big Lots not bc I wanted it but bc i thought it was cool to buy a dvd for $2.00 and it ended up being Urban Legends Bloody Mary...And even tho I hate scary movies with a passion and they overstimulate my brain and make me high strung I decided to put it in before I went to bed becaue erica was staying over so I didnt have to watch it alone....The next thing I know is one minute Im laughing how ridiculous the movie is with her and then next minute shes asleep and Im contemplating peeing the bed bc Im scared to death to go into the bathroom bc the shower curtain is closed and I think that bloody mary psycho is creepin in there...Oh welll guess its like my fear of thunderstorms something Im not going to out grow....I have to work in 2 and a half hours and have no sleep ha this is my life not as pretty as it seems...Ill leave my last note on the questiong running through my head to get rid of being paranoid about mary is where is some holy water when you need it I thought super wawa's were supposed to have everything...Not so much.
XoXo<3ashleyelizabeth
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
